I am undiagnosed and I should see a therapist - but at this point in my life, I'm pretty sure that I deal with a high degree of social anxiety.

And when I say "high degree", I mean that at the worst times this thing has caused me panic attacks, muscle cramps, vertigo, digestive disorders, and a few dissociative fugues.

It is not easy for me to leave the house and see people. It is very rarely enjoyable. I avoid it habitually, making me mostly a hermit.

I manage to function professionally, but it is an effort that requires a lot of faking being "on" and spending all my willpower such that I often need days of downtime to feel okay again. This is a pretty well-established pattern for me that I haven't been able to change after many tries. Feels like a load-bearing wall in my psychology.

I have arranged a lot of my comfortable life and career around being able to function without direct social interaction. I have a psychological bad sector map.

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